Tears To Melt The Snow
by fenjiaru
Summary: The secret was spilled, Goku was thrown away by the people of the place he started considering his home. But as this happened with the snow fall, he grows insane, unabled to understand what he really feels. WARNING: Character Death


**Tears to Melt the Snow  
**A Son Goku One Shot Fan Fiction 

Walking down the isle, an endless white we see. A boy along with his guardian walks side-by-side, protected by thick clothes the boy was, unlike his guardian who wears nothing but an expensive robe for the line of special monks known as the Sanzos. Goku blinks his golden eyes down to the white footsteps he used to know he'll never had. For him, this snow was so much endless... It is almost like a giant labyrinth wherein he could never see the way out.

But things have changed, right?

Goku looks towards his sun standing silently before him. He's not so alone now. He won't get cold.

"Are you going to stand like that all day?"

He snorted, quite cold and unpleasant to the ears, but for the young boy it means everything...

"Ah," he hopped, "Sorry, Sanzo." he walked towards his companion taking light steps, fearing behind his head that he might drown to this fearful white. He lifted his hand and reached for the pretty robe he loves to tug down just years ago. His fingers spread like beautiful petals, but at this time, his sight goes through the robe and feels something unusual.

There's danger.

At the corner of his eyes flew a sharp rock. Goku's brows wrinkled.

"GET OUT OF HERE!"

The townspeople shouted.

"YOUKAIS AND HUMANS COULD NEVER LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE! GO AWAY!"

"GO! RUN AWAY!"

"HEARTLESS MONSTERS! GO AWAY!"

"I..." Goku murmured facing the townspeople, "...I haven't... I haven't done anything..."

"NOT YET!"

"GO AWAY!"

A rock flew and hit Goku in the face, blood dripped down to the white ground.

Blame.

Sanzo stands before Goku, he puts his left arm in front of him, protecting him, actually. Knowing that the people would never hurt him nor for Goku to fight back, "He is under my control, there is nothing--"

"But, Master Sanzo, these youkais killed our friends! Our families!"

"Stop generalizing, you idiots."

Silence.

"Have you seen him kill the people you are talking about? I even haven't seen him once kill a single insignificant insect," Sanzo puts down his arm and takes a glimpse at the disappointed boy, "He did even saved your lives, didn't he?"

"But, Master Sanzo..."

"If he would ever want to kill worthless people such as you, he would've done it... A long time ago."

"Master Sanzo..."

"Sanzo..." Goku whispers, "Am... Am I?" images run through his mind, "Ack!" he closes tightly his eyes; covering both of his ears. Shaking in fear, unexpectedly, he saw what he fears the most.

Solitude.

In that split second, he realizes what he had gained throughout these years, it wasn't strength. Actually, it wasn't anything to be proud of. After all these years, he only learned how to be more scared of loneliness he used to have.

Orbs of his memories began to form; one by one they merge and become familiar figures. Could it be? Is he back home? The fear of everything, never knowing who he is or anything else… Maybe he's back, but he shouldn't be.

Goku physically jumps over Sanzo and onto the townspeople who he begin to be scared of as he mentally reminisce the times he was imprisoned with nothing else but the snow. His sharp nails suddenly came out as his limiter almost breaks in half, but it stayed. Goku was half awake, just waiting to find himself.

"Goku!"

It was only his guardian would say he was totally speechless for it was the worst battle he ever witnessed: a sealed, half-awake youkai against thousands of humans. It was awful. Too much bloodshed.

Goku looked at the people around him. He looked at them with fiery eyes. The townspeople then took out their weapons without hesitation. They were so sure that they would be able to beat Goku because of numbers, but, of course, they were wrong. Size and numbers never matter. Especially in this world.

He then started running towards them and then, _bam! _The fight began. He started with the people who were badmouthing him. There were lots, of course, but he just wanted them to disappear. His nails then grew longer and it dug deep inside the chest of a middle-aged man. Seeing his capability, the other townspeople started running to retreat but were blocked when Goku jumped in front of them, grinning evilly. It was too late to stop him. He was so hungry for blood that he'll kill anything he sees. He started running towards them again and killing anyone whom comes in touch with him.

Sanzo, even himself, is uncertain of what he must do. It was an awful sight, even for him. Blood was raining everywhere and all he could do is watch. Actually, he was too scared to do anything. His legs wouldn't make him move.

Screams of fear were heard as Goku killed everyone of them, everyone who was badmouthing him. When he was halfway through, Sanzo saw blood near Goku's lips, which the youkai found quite tasty. This was bad. He was hungry for even more of this crimson liquid.

The sight was disgusting. It wasn't that disgusting for Sanzo since he and his companions always do this to the demons. He then remembered his promise…

_"Sanzo… if I…" Goku started. But then, he couldn't make out the words appropriate for the topic. He then decided it was no use. "Uh… Never mind." _

"_I'll kill you."_

Can he really kill Goku? He didn't know. It was obvious that he can't stop him, though. He was certain about that last part, at least. Sanzo always threatened to kill him, but of course he couldn't do it for real. He's much too strong for him.

Sanzo then turned his attention to Goku. He was still killing them.

No other options.

He was enjoying it, which was very disturbing, although every now and then, Sanzo would see sadness in his eyes.

Why?

He then remembered the encounter moments ago.

"_They were quite harsh but I don't think they should pay with blood. This isn't the best way to be free, Goku._"

Minutes past and the screaming stopped. It was weird. It took Goku a good twenty minutes or so to finish about a thousand humans. Sanzo thought it was the best time to check if Goku's all right. Goku's back was turned from Sanzo, looking at the floor. As he neared Goku, Goku's head was slowly turning. He didn't see the face of the person who was about to touch him and immediately stabbed his bleeding claw to the unknown man's chest. Sanzo twisted his ankle as he restrained himself from moving back, Goku withdrew his claw and once more dug deep on his chest.

Sanzo's eyes opened widely, unable once more to say such strong words. His jaw hung open and released so much blood. So much force, Goku's claw went through his thin body. Sanzo still tried to fight, but too much blood he had already lost. He reached out to the boy's broad shoulder and tightly holds. His teeth stoke each other as he uttered one last word.

"…B…Ba…ka."

Another calls for help.

"San…zo?"

Violets immediately faded away and coldness over took him. Life was successfully taken away.

Silence… 

The monk falls down smoothly. His hair which was stained too greatly by blood was still appreciated by the newly awakened boy.

"Sanzo, are you--"

Golden eyes go wide and confused as he witnessed rain of blood following the falling body as it hit the floor, then, everything went dark. The snow turns completely to blood red.

"Sanzo!"

Goku runs towards his guardian.

"Sanzo, are you alright!"

He kneels down and holds him close.

"Sanzo?"

He looks down at the disturbed-faces monk, Goku closes tightly his eyes as he desperately remember what happened. But nothing. He remembers nothing. Goku slid his left arm under Sanzo's knees and the other under Sanzo's neck. Goku carried him towards the very first thing he sees clear before him: a mountain.

Sure it was far, but he doesn't know why he decided to go there. There's just something or someone whispering in his ears telling him to be there.

He arrives after a few seconds, he stands before an entrance. A cave.

Where to go?

Goku steps in, he puts Sanzo down to the frozen ground. Tears forming at the corner of his golden eyes…

"Sanzo…"

He lifted Sanzo's head, pressing it against his chest.

Cold.

Tears fell down on the monk's face and drove down the drops of blood away. Goku looks down at his face, his fingers brushed away his golden hair.

Blood.

He never noticed, until now. He himself was, too, covered with fresh blood, and under his fingernails stuck dry blood.

"No…"

He closed his eyes and embraced Sanzo tighter. With an image forming in his mind, the view of the dead bird he could never reach.

Dead.

His eyelids softly hid below his wrinkled brows.

"Sanzo…"

He softly slid his hand up to Sanzo's chest, right where he could feel the heart beats. But there was none.

"Sanzo…" he wears fake smile, "You're… You're alive, r-right? S-sanzo?"

His voice was so brittle, so close to break.

"Sanzo!" he screamed, "Sanzo, you can be dead! Dammit!"

But he was… So cold and stiff.

Goku finally gave up. He puts him slowly down, his last tear fell down; then, was wiped by his wrist. He turns and faces once more the endless white, the soft rain. He walks towards the cave's entrance and wondered there.

"Why?"

Goku closes his eyes as his knees suddenly folded. He falls down, looking up at the freezing sky.

"Why do you have to take everything from me?"

He whispers hoping that the cold snow would answer him. He blinked for a few times and gave up, closing his eyes so tightly.

"Sanzo..."

Tears formed, tears fell. Goku bent down and cried as hard as he could. Snow dropped down on his hands, he cried and he cried and suddenly it melts. Such miracle tears had brought him, it never just relieved him pan, but also destroyed the thing he hates the most.

He tilts his head up, almost looking like waiting for an answer.

Then he whispered with a faint smile on his lips…

"Can you ever blame me… for not moving on…?"

**-owari -**

**- bakazaruaddict- : Yay! The first fanfiction by fENjiEN rEN and bakazaruaddict is done! I hope you liked it! Review please**

**- fENjiEn rEN- : bAaahh... I thought we're not gonna' tell them, saru? Sigh... You spoiled my fun.**


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